Tazmania Picture 2011

How Long Does It Take to Mend a Broken Heart?

Julian Austin, Canadian country singer, released a song called Should Be Over You. He sings, How long does it take to mend a broken heart? After the heartache and tears, lonely and hurting, one night stands and drinking ain't working, and missing you has near killed me a time or two, then after that I should be over you."

Austin's explanation of how long it takes to get over a broken heart refers to a romantic love that ended, but his words could apply to hearts that break when someone we love dies, also.

Broken hearts are not like broken legs. If I fall down the steps and break my leg, it will hurt, but a doctor can prescribe medicine to take away the pain. The medical staff can set my leg so that the bones will grow back together. Within a few months, I should be able to run as well as I did before the fall. Our bodies have a wonderful way of healing themselves.

On the other hand, if we experience a broken heart, it's a whole different story! As Austin sings, drinkin' won't work, and there's no medicine that will take away the pain. And if there are doctors that can fix our broken hearts back, they must be hiding in Tazmania because I can't find them in south Georgia or on the World Wide Web.

In spite of the bleak picture, our hearts do have the capability of healing, in due time. They may never work as they did before the tragedy, but they should be able to attain a level of functioning that we can be comfortable with. The key words are in due time.

After Arlyn (my daughter) died, I searched for answers to the question: how long? I read grief books, and I quizzed people who claimed to know all the ins and outs of bereavement.

When I asked how long it would take for me to get over Arlyn's death, I received a variety of answers.

Some experts said two months is long enough for deep grief; others said six months. Some people said to allow one year for mourning. Still others said that there is no set time limit, that it varies from person to person.

In my research, I found that the way we grieve and the duration of our grief are as unique as our fingerprints. No two bereavement patterns match.

How long it takes to recover from a loss or death depends on the interaction of various factors. A few of them are:

* Who died?
* How did the person die?
* Is there a good long-term support system in place?
* What are the complicating life circumstances?
* What is the person's attitude?

Let's consider each of these issues.

Who died?

How we survive, heal, and grow after a death are determined, in part, by our relationship with the person who left, and that person's age.

How long a person has lived seems to matter sometimes. If the person who died is an infant, a child, a teenager or a young adult, we may feel the loss harder than we would if the one who died has a wrinkled old body topped by a weathered face, wispy gray hair and tried eyes.

I am not sure why this is; perhaps some of you will offer your opinions. If someone who has lived for ninety years dies, why should we be less affected by it than we are by the death of a child who only lives nine years?

Next, our relationship with the person who died is also significant. The death of a son or daughter, is considered to be one of the most profound losses anyone ever experiences.

However, the death of our husbands, wives, lovers, brothers, sisters, parents, or close friends may break our hearts, too. The break may simply be at a different place.

Sometimes, people grieve for beloved pets as hard as they do for the humans in their lives. People also grieve for celebrities and for people they have never met, if they have somehow been touched by them.

How did the person die?

We respond to loss or death differently according to whether it happened suddenly or gradually, and whether it's a death caused by sickness or a violent one.

Some of us may have experienced the slow grief of long-term care for someone we love. We may have watched an aging parent or spouse die of cancer or Alzheimer's disease or AIDS, with the process taking months or years to complete.

By the time the end comes, our grief may already be so heavy that we almost feel relieved to be able to let it go, but then it may return with a different texture to it later on.

On the other hand, sudden deaths bring about strong, emotional responses. We don't anticipate vehicle accidents, house fire deaths, or people being killed by lightning.

We never expect anyone we care about to drown, to crash while skiing, or to have a fatal heart attack. An unexpected ending of a life can become a tidal wave pulling us under.

Sometimes, people die violently, either through homicide or suicide. Those affected by violent deaths may be so traumatized that their grief is controlled by anger, guilt, or rage for weeks, months and years.

Such intense feelings may prolong the painful grieving period, but that?s the only way they can survive. The tidal wave of a sudden death is even more terrifying to deal with when violence is involved.

Does the person have a long-term support system in place to help?

Connecting with supportive people until the grief process has run its course is crucial to healthy healing after a loss or death or other life crisis, for most of us. The supportive people may be friends, family members or professionals. They may also be people we meet on our journey who share our need to grieve.

Most people don't understand how we feel if they have not experienced the same loss or gone through similar circumstances. They may want to help, but they simply don't know how to do it, and sometimes, they put barriers in our way.

The result is that those of us who are in mourning may feel misunderstood, isolated and alone.

To compound things, if we feel pressured by others to suck-it-in and be strong, our need to grieve may be ignored, and that can make grief resolution even more difficult.

What are the complicating life circumstances?

Life circumstances can put impediments to a healthy, comfortable, peaceful way of life in our way. These situations, some of which we may not be able to prevent or control, can complicate our grief or prolong it. They can also delay our grief for months or even years.

Sometimes, we will have more than one complicating life circumstance. In these cases, giving ourselves permission to grieve, in spite of the problems in our lives, may be easier said than done.

Some of the complicating life circumstances are:

~ Our age and gender

~ Our job expectations

~ Money concerns

~ The quality of our personal relationships

~ Our health & the health of those around us

~ Any unresolved issues from our lives

The complicating factors of our lives may swell into huge thunderous waves pulling us under, and during a traumatic time in our life, we may forget how to swim.

All of these issues can stall the natural grieving process by virtue of the fact that we may have to focus all of our energy on them, neglecting our own emotional needs.

What's the person's attitude?

After the loss or death of a loved one, especially if it's someone who is an integral part of our existence, we may not be able to choose our attitude at first. Initially, it may take all of our energy just to survive, so our grief may control us.

Grief is sometimes accompanied by depression. Depression may deplete our energy or obliterate our will to live. Without energy or motivation, it's not easy to embrace grief as a separate entity.

Eventually, however, most of us will reach a point where we do have some control over our emotions and thoughts. Then, we have to decide whether we?re going to allow the tragedy to destroy us or lift us up.

There are other factors identified by experts as influencing how long healthy grieving lasts, but those I have listed encompass most things that matter. So now, what is the answer to the question: How long does it take to mend a broken heart? How long does the bereavement process last?

Unless someone discovers a magic formula to calculate the value of every factor that affects our lives, and to measure them all accurately, there is no way to determine the length of time anyone needs to mourn after a major loss.

Broken hearts and shattered souls are not controlled by a stopwatch. I say that we should be allowed to mourn as long as we need to. Period.

Quotes of the week -

I measure every grief I meet with narrow, probing eyes, I wonder if it weighs like mine, or has an easier size. Emily Dickinson (1830 - 1886)

I wish you peace.

Karyl Chastain Beal

Reluctant Traveler

karylofpavo@cs.com

Karyl Chastain Beal: Writer, Mother, Reluctant Traveler
Began this new journey after the suicide of her daughter, Arlyn, in 1996. Visit Arlyn's memorial to learn more, and also some of the websites that help educate. MS in Education, CT (Certified Thanatologist), story in Chicken Soup for the Unsinkable Soul and various other publications.

Arlyn's - http://virtual-memorials.com/servlet/ViewMemorials?memid=7461&pageno=1

Grieving Parents - http://www.grieving-parents.com

We Remember Them Memorial Website - http://www.we-remember-them.com

Tazmania Picture

The Truth About Ghostly Orb Photos

Let's take a look at the growing interest in "spirit photography."

Say cheese.

For centuries people all around the world have been reporting encounters with ghosts. A faint silhouette at the foot of a bed, a wispy apparition, unexplained sounds, cold spots, ghostly footsteps, haunting moans and creaks. But is it really necessary to imagine that these images, noises and other experiences are evidence of supernatural activity, or can we accept that there are more down to earth, explanations?

Do ghosts exist? Probably not, but I admit cannot prove they are not real the same way believers in these things can't prove they are real. My argument is not that ghosts, as spirits of the dead, cannot be real and that people haven't seen them; what I have a problem with is people, often "expert" ghost hunters, who claim that known photographic anomalies are evidence of "spirit energy" or other such nonsense. Orbs have been sufficiently explained, but those who wish to continue deluding themselves will persist in their fantasy. Many paranormal "experts" are adamant that they can tell the difference between dust orbs and real spirit orbs. That is complete crap!

Delusion, fed by ignorance, seems to be contageous. Orbs have become very popular among ghost hunters, and photos of orbs are regularly used as evidence to support claims for hauntings. Along with "orbs" we may find photos of "light energy" or "plasma" and a number of other "spirit forms." The reason I am so annoyed by anyone presenting these as proof of a spirit world is because of the sound explanation behind these images. Orbs are not proof of ghosts, they are proof that a flash can bounce back off of a minute particle and create a glare on the lens.

Sometimes we don't even need a flash. I caught an orb on camera, in the middle of the day, in my living room, while taking a picture of family members during Christmas one year. The sun shining through the window and the particle was at just the right angle to create the effect.

Just the Facts

You will not see any orbs if you take a picture in a windowless room with the lights off and the door closed. There is no light to reflect off of the particle(s) and into the camera lens. One would think that a spirit should be able to show up regardless of light. But alas, if an orb requires an Earthly illumination to appear, it must be of Earthly origin, not supernatural.

And what about the photographs of "light energy?" Things moves. Particles can zip around on currents of air or even the shaky breath of the photographer who is waiting in the cemetery for spirits appear on film. Bugs can fly by creating a great "spirit" trail effect. The camera strap, or a stray wisp of hair can drift before the lens, unnoticed by the photographer especially in the dark, and may be caught by the flash. This would produce a great energy streak in the picture.

"Plasma" and other wispy spirit forms can be the result of cigarette smoke, car exhaust, frosty breath, or hair. I'm sure there are even bundles of lint drifting around that would make an interesting subject if they were just the right distance from the camera.

Some even claim to see little heads and faces in and around their orbs. This is just growing more and more absurd. It's akin to finding shapes in the clouds. If you're looking for something, you're bound to find it. Little heads, faces, dragons, fairies and sprites will abound in your universe if you believe. And don't forget about the hoaxer who wouldn't think twice about manufacturing some spirit forms in Photoshop just to fool the gullible.

Should we be concerned that spirits are overtaking our world in the form of little "orbs" and "light energy" that can only be seen when you take a picture? I wouldn't lose any sleep over it.

Belief and magical thinking run rampant in our society, and it is a major problem. Ignorance should be minimized not propagated, but continued belief in all things supernatural, proliferated through the dubious merit of ghost hunters made famous by television and other media outlets, does a great disservice to the general public. For lack of evidence ghost hunting groups should not be taken seriously. They rise to fame and adore the attention, made cool by steadfast, gullible fans.

Contrary to what some may profess, ghost hunters are not experts on ghosts. They simply can't be, because there is no evidence that supports their claim. Think about it. There are real, down to earth explanations for most of what ghost hunters present as evidence of their quarry. Why continue to believe that there is something more going on?

Orbs are not hard evidence of spirit activity in our world. Next up... EVP!

Drew Vics is an artist, musician and writer from Northern New Jersey. He writes about paranormal mysteries, the unexplained, skepticism and belief on his website Strange Encounters.

10 Great 4WD Tour and 4WD Trip Locations

Of all the extreme sports why go on a 4WD adventure? Other than not having a 4WD and the right equipment of your own, the reasons mostly sum up to apprehensions on travelling alone and simply not knowing where to go.

That is what 4WD adventure packages are for. Expert guides and 4WD drivers take you on roads less travelled; combine it with action packed activities and breathtaking scenery for the perfect exhilarating extreme experience. You can rent a 4WD vehicle, be shown around places that you will only see in travel magazines and get your adrenalin boiling with great activities. Don't know where to go? Here's a teaser of 10 great locations that you will finally enjoy your 4WD adventure in:

1. Kakadu National Park, the Northern Territory

A World Heritage listed park located 120kms east of Darwin, capital of the Northern Territory. A location with refreshing monsoonal microclimates, beautiful landscapes and well known wetlands on the plains. This park is so vast that it is as big as Israel, Slovenia or El Salvador and is considered Australia's largest National Park. Its diverse environment is home to a variety lush flora and amazing fauna.

2. Bullfinch to Goongarrie Station, Western Australia

This route tales you through a remote country near Mt. Manning Nature Reserve. On the way you will also pass through Lake Ballard and the Menzies, and great western woodlands. Other sights also include the Helena and Aurora Ranges and Yowie Rocks.

3. Simpson Desert, Central Australia

Endless red sand dunes that traverse North & South make up this section of the Australian Outback. Marvel at shimmering mirages, and be amazed at the historical imprints of civilization taking over the past.

4. Cape York, QLD

This is an area where roads are often rough and undeveloped, a scenario that allows access to amazing landscapes, countless river crossings and bountiful nature spots.

5. Snowy Mountains, New South Wales

Cruise through a choice selection of the huge mountain ranges, amazing gorges and refreshing waterways.

6. Tasmania

Fish, swim, and bushwalk along Tasmania's mix of rocky slopes, bush tracks and waterways.

7. Coral Bay, Western Australia

Offers crystal clear waters, vast river ways, astonishing National Parks and rocky headlands. Enjoy your 4WD adventure in this state of unsurpassed beauty.

8. Gregory National Park, Northern Territory

Place a 4WD adventure here and experience authentic Australian bush camping and Aboriginal culture as you take a journey and soak in sights of the amazing and diverse landscape.

9. Victoria

A 4WD experience filled with snowy spots, native wildlife and lush forestry. Take a break from driving and be thrilled with skiing or snowboarding.

10. Queenstown, New Zealand

Go nostalgic on this 4WD adventure as you traverse through old abandoned mining towns of Skippers Canyon and Macetown. Rugged roads add more to the experience of off roading as you explore premier and authentic trails with the experts of 4WD adventure.

Frank Reid is an experienced writer that is also a massive fan of 4WD driving. He has enjoyed the sport from the moment he learned to 4WD through to his many four wheel driving adventures across Australia. Frank Reid thinks everyone can participate in 4WD driving and hopes that more people participate in the sport. If you are interested in four wheel driving you should find out more today and before you know it you'll be enjoying your very own four wheel driving adventure.

Historic Sites to Visit in Victoria, Australia

Australia is relatively young when compared to many other cultures. At least, the European influence is quite young. The indigenous culture is one of the oldest on earth although nowhere as graphic or advanced as the Inca, Greeks or Romans. Victoria is by no means the oldest region in Australia with New South Wales and Tasmania being a decade or two older. Historic sites that bear a European influence are therefore only several hundred years old.

These historic sites can be divided into several categories. There are the historic sites related to settlement; sites related to the gold rush days; sites related to bushrangers and famous felons; and sites related to politics and war. There are newer sites that some consider "historic", however their 'historic' tag relates to their position in society and the fact they have been ravaged by severe bush fires over the last ten years. The non European influenced historic sites relate to those that respected by indigenous communities. Indigenous communities in Australia are fairly reserved, so their historic sites are respected and honored from within their own communities and not generally open to tourist or the tourism industry.

No discussion of Victoria's historic sites is complete without mentioning several of their most visited venues. Great Ocean Road, Ballarat and Bendigo, Glenrowan and The Grampians are all popular and have had a significant impact on the history of the Victoria.

The Great Ocean Road

The Great Ocean Road runs along the south-west coast of Victoria and is the scene of scores of shipwrecks during the early days of settlement. The area is also famous for 12 monoliths that stand out of the ocean - known as the 12 Apostles. Unfortunately they are slowly crumbling back into the ocean and will soon be nothing more than stubs sticking out of the sea. The area is also famous for old style lighthouses, ocean food, dairy products and wine.

Ballarat and Bendigo

The townships (now cities) of Ballarat and Bendigo are home to Australia's greatest gold rush days where tens of thousands of would be miners gathered hoping to make it rich. It is the scene of Australia's only major 'civil war' where miners retaliated against the military in a major dispute over gold licenses. The 1854 Eureka Stockade battle changed and defined Australia and gave rise to the Southern Cross, a symbol that still appears on the Australian flag. There are many smaller towns around these two major centers that still occupy and use buildings from this era.

Glenrowan and Victoria's High Country

Glenrowan is home to one of Australia's most notorious bushrangers - one Ned Kelly, famous for his metal helmet and armor that he wore when robbing banks. His metal helmet and armor were useless when it came to a siege however and like most bushrangers of his time, he ended his days and the end of a rope. Still, he has gone down in Australian folklore.

The Grampians

The Grampians region has been home to Australia's indigenous peoples for over 10,000 years. You can see evidence of their existence in the rock art, some of which is dated at many thousands of years old. Australia's indigenous peoples were nomadic by nature so they traveled from one end of Victoria to the other. There are many sites throughout Victoria that give evidence to this lifestyle.

There are many other historic sites within Victoria, Australia. From the mighty Murray River that divides News South Wales and Victoria, to the wine and fruit growing area and on to Australia's only hot water mineral springs in Daylsford, there is something there for everyone. There is surf, sun, seafood, fine dining and designer outlet shops with clothing to suit all ages. If you have never visited Australia, add it to your list of 100 things to do before you die. While there, check out what Victoria has to offer.

As a proud Australian I am happy to showcase our country. From my birthplace in Victoria to our current existence in Queensland, Australia has it all. Come and see what else we offer including the Cooloola Coast and the handy family holiday tips we have collected.

Exploring the West Coast of Tasmania

West Coast of Tasmania

The beauty of the Tasmanian countryside is the feeling of isolation you get there. Gazing out over some of the mountains, forests and lakes its hard to remember that we live in an industrialised world filled with billions of people. Nowhere is this feeling more prevalent than on the West Coast, an area whose raw beauty may not lend itself well to human habitation, but certainly lends itself well to a touring motorhome holiday. Not only do the rocky coastline and the raging southern ocean clash here in a mighty display of land versus sea, but inland the mountains and valleys have a lush cover of ancient rainforest that gives the region a mystical quality that you would expect from a fantasy novel. Prepare to be transported to a place very, very far away as you enter West Tasmania!

Most people would travel here from Hobart, a journey that takes you through the Franklin-Gordon Wild Rivers National Park along the Lyell Highway. The Park is simply sensational, protecting the great rivers of the west including the Franklin, Gordon and Olga Rivers, around which lush and green rainforest provides a home to an amazing array of wildlife. There are a number of bushwalks that you can take from right by the highway, with the one that leads to the base of Nelson Falls an especially popular one. The more adventurous may be inclined to get involved in some white water rafting down the Franklin River, with some trips going for as long as fourteen days!

The largest town of the West Coast is Queenstown, a mining town of 2300 people. The best thing about this town is its surroundings, as the town itself looks something like a deserted moonscape because of all the mining activity. Of course there is lots to see in the National Park surrounding the town, and the coastline lies not far away either. The small but characterful settlement of Strahan sits on the shores of the Macquarie Harbour about a forty minute drive from Queenstown, and is normally the next stage in a campervan journey.

The immense pine forests that you have passed through to get here are the reason for Strahan's existence, as it was initially a base for the businessmen coming to seek out the Huon Pine that grows in these parts. A penal colony was created at Sarah Island which lies offshore, and convicts would have to row to the mainland through the notorious 'Hells Gate' of Macquarie Harbour to harvest the pine. Huon Pine is still in high demand because it is extremely durable, and there are a number of shops in Strahan where you can buy goods manufactured from it. A tour of Morrisons Huon Pine Mill will teach you more about the wood and its importance to the area.

In Strahan because of the large harbour and the Gordon and King Rivers that empty into it much of the recreational activity is water based. When the weather and the elements are calm the waters of the harbour become so perfectly still they are like a mirror, and on days like these a sunset boat cruise up and down its 50 kilometre length are especially special. These take you past the salmon farms, where 60 000 kilograms of live salmon churn the waters into a white froth. Canoeing and kayaking are also a popular pursuit, and the ubiquitous fishing also has its place in Strahan!

For a beach experience you wont get in many other places pay a visit to Ocean Beach near Strahan, a 40 kilometre stretch of hard white sand bordered by high dunes behind it and the rough waves of the Southern Ocean in front of it. In wild weather the water droplets off the waves can give the impression of fog, and often whales get stranded on this shoreline. Dont expect bikini clad babes or beach volleyball, but do enjoy this taste of nature at its most raw.

With its rich history and its wealth of real natural attractions, any journey you make through the west of Tassy is going to be an inspiring and interesting one. If you are coming south from Hobart then you can always continue north through to Devonport, a three hour drive from Strahan. This is where the ferry from Melbourne docks, so you could drop off your camper and head to the mainland that way. Or else you could just continue your way through Tasmania... theres lots more to see!

Gavin Wyatt is a journalist with a passion for travel. originally from Zambia he has traveled around the world to end up on the sunny shores of Australia. For more of his articles visit Discovery Campervans